anr & abf
a fantasy, or intimacy?
listen to me read this piece to you here
            It has been difficult for me to write this piece this month, but Adult Breastfeeding (ABF) and Adult Nursing Relationships (ANR) is a topic I have been wanting to write about for some time. Why difficult? My experience with ABF and ANR is more romantic than grounded in my present, and my history, as a s3x worker.
             I was a domina in my personal relationships outside of work long before I found my way into professional domination; I practiced Female Led Relationships (FLR) instinctively and intuitively. Unhappily, however, I also had a pattern of attaching myself—or becoming attached to—undeveloped, less than ideal cis male partners who were far behind where I was emotionally, spiritually, physically, experientially; the power dynamic was present on every level. I was simply ‘above’ them, because of who I am as a person, as a living goddess, and I had not yet learned how to wait for my equal or the importance of recognizing the authority inherent in my own power.
             This is all to say, that I found myself playing ‘mommy domme’ very frequently. My partners looked to me for encouragement, direction, and spiritual nourishment. To my knowledge, I have never lactated, but they and I gravitated towards the simulation of their receiving physical nourishment from me quite quickly once we became intimate. The first partner I experienced this with was my first ‘boyfriend’ of my early twenties, and then the kink continued in a succeeding hook-up, and pervaded again in my last meaningful romantic relationship, which ended in 2019. The last experience was by far the most thrilling and fulfilling for what I take ANR & ABF to mean: intimacy, tenderness, security, safety, and a sense of purpose for both the giver and the receiver.
